Btw this is a parody account

I’d love to honestly believe that. But I still wouldn’t risk ever doing a BYOD with a company that forced me to install anything on my personal devices.

Both sides.

I constantly call out juniors who do things like ignore warnings, completely unaware that the warning is going to cause serious tech debt in a few months.

But Ive also unfortunately shrugged after seeing hundreds of warnings because to update this requires me to go through 3 layers of departments and we’re still waiting on these six other blockers.

Pick and choose I guess.

Sometimes war is brought to your door.

Recent ones: Gaza. Ukraine.

Man you are really sucking the financial industry dick

You get a kickback for defending big banks?

Your bank isn’t a fan of them either

Fortunately there’s THOUSANDS of banks and Credit unions.

Oh man hold on to it! The banning has made them contraband. You can be the Walter White of Denmark.

I shared this before.

If you were a person of color, having Uber and Airbnb were a game changer. Taxis and hotels were awful from the 80s-2010s.

Taxis were racists and often wouldn’t even pick you up. If they did, they often took you on a joyride. Hotels were absolute shit holes. Want to complain about your room? Go pound sand.

Those industries werent good for decades. And the disruption actually made car sharing much more consistent and hotel experiences better.

Holy shit we have the same bank pin!

GPU, render my 4.2 MB json file!

My wife plays FPS games and doesn’t even speak because the moment she does, half the dudes feel like they need to show off and get her attention, and the other half get sexually frustrated and laser focus on only her.

Pretty much.

Maybe I’m some rare unicorn. But I have NEVER successfully got a job filling out forms like this. It’s a huge waste of my time.

Stupid question:

What is the commercial comparison? Like vine/Instagram video/YouTube shorts?

I’m old and I don’t understand how those social media platforms above work but I’m willing to figure it out to add content to the fediverse.

Looking forward to the “when I wrote this code, only god and I knew how it works. Now only god knows” comments.

Rewrite history? Difficult.

Start a new project and nuke the old one? Finger guns.

Honestly they peaked at windows XP.

I haven’t needed a upgrade and every time for the past 15 years, it’s been forced on me.

Ah I am not familiar with this language.

Is there iced coffee and noodle soup?

Code examples:

// PHP
function myButt(string $argument): string {
  return "$argument and my butt";
}

// JavaScript 
function myButt(argument) {
  return `${argument} and my butt`;
}

// COBOL
FUNCTION my-butt STRING argument STRING (LENGTH 100)
  VALUE result STRING (LENGTH 100)
  MOVE argument WITH NO OVERFLOW TO result
  MOVE " and my butt" TO BEFORE SPACE DELIMITED BY SIZE IN result
  RETURN result
END FUNCTION my-butt

Anything is true if you don’t look at the stats

/onejoke