• A_A@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    🤣
    SECTION 1.
    (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the “Contraception Begins at Erection Act.”

    (2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

    (3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:
    ( a ) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;
    ( b ) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and
    ( c ) Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

    (4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:
    ( a ) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and
    ( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

    SECTION 2.
    This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025

    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 hours ago

      I know its Mississippi but this guy has to realize this targets women with a bias. Men: “Don’t masturbate or have sex for fun!”… Damn that sucks… Women: “Don’t masturbate or have sex for fun!.. oh and don’t ever release an egg again”. Wait I cant exist as a woman pre menopausal? Nope

      • A_A@lemmy.world
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        1 hour ago

        Unfortunately, since their joke is badly written, it might be interpreted has you said. Yet, please notice, with the title of this law ( “Contraception Begins at Erection Act” ) that it is targeting was supposed to target men.

          • A_A@lemmy.world
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            51 minutes ago

            Yes it’s fun to look at this joke in different ways and to think of how it could be written in much better ways.

  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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    8 hours ago

    Sure, some may say it’s absurd, but masturbation inspector is a good paying, high quality American job that cannot be exported overseas, and not a job I’d trust to AI.

    That state senator is a visionary!

    • Hominy_Hank@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      It’s a race to the bottom now. And the Republicans have a huge head start. Dems are nosediving to catch up.

  • Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win
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    12 hours ago

    To highlight how absolutely stupid this bill is, it sounds like it would outlaw menstruation and nocturnal emissions.

    Land of the free.

    Edit: it sounds like this is intentionally facetious to point out the absurdity of other pro-life bills.

  • snooggums@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    I didn’t see the party of the politician in the article, so no idea if it is written in jest or just regular old Republican whackiness.

    The most entertaining part is that it is written as applying to men, but as written it is gender neutral and would penalize menstruation.

    Edit: It is a Dem having a lark.

    • thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world
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      9 hours ago

      i’m afraid that the fascists would take the bill up and actually vote to ban masturbation. especially the bible thumpers.

      • Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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        6 hours ago

        There are a number of active laws that were rendered unconditional by Lawrence v. Texas. In addition to the anti-sodomy laws, this invalidated most laws restricting sex toys.

        Lawrence was explicitly called out as being on the chopping block in the Jackson decision, so these are slated for a comeback. The only real limitation is that SCOTUS needs a case, and the challenger needs to show standing.

      • dontpanic@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        7 hours ago

        To be fair, the article doesn’t give his party affiliation and if you’re just scrollin’ on by this sounds like it could easily be from a RWNJ who believes masturbation and sex for funsies are sins and the bible should be law. Wikipedia says he’s a dem; I know nothing about him but the quote from him doesn’t read to me as ‘every sperm is sacred.’ Then again it is Mississippi so before reading the actual bill I was only 51% sure it was satire.

  • NutWrench@lemmy.ml
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    10 hours ago

    Life began about a billion years ago and it’s a continuous, ongoing process.

    • futatorius@lemm.ee
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      8 hours ago

      3.5 billion, give or take a few years. There’s some evidence life goes back to 4 billion years, but it’s not as well-attested as 3.5.

  • Breadhax0r@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    This could absolutely be used to keep prisoners in prison, and also probably criminalize gay men.

  • BigMacHole@lemm.ee
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    11 hours ago

    Good! We need to STOP KILLING KIDS (unless it’s with Gun Control!)! Wait a Democrat wrote this? Just kidding this is STUPID!

  • brosaph@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    With the last exception being for sex while using contracteption, what’s the point of this bill?

    • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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      7 hours ago

      Culture war idiocy. That’s it.

      Edit: Merp, the bill is actually satire. It’s an actual bill, filed in an actual legislature, but the person who filed it is a Democrat, and it’s pretty obvious it’s intentionally worded to be absolutely absurd (coming from a Democrat, to be clear, because I’d take them at their word if a Nationalist Christian wrote it).