deleted by creator

deleted by creator

The publisher got bought.

Except that’s not what happened

Doesn’t matter, cause that’s not what’s happening here lol

Chill my yin, no need to go full Israel over a culture classifying peaches differently

A fruit? Never heard of anyone referring to it as a veggie. Cultural difference?

Yeah, I know my view of reality isn’t accurate. Doesn’t make things easier to handle but it’s why I’m still handling them. At the worst of times I’m just living for the sake of other people which while it keeps me here can also be really frustrating – it’s like other people are holding themselves hostage against my nonexistence. I do talk about it with some friends that are already that close. I honestly kind of credit one of them with saving my life in June, though she doesn’t know it. It just feels like life keeps pulling blocks from the jenga tower that I am and there’s not many left before I collapse.

Sorry for laying this on you.

Before anyone comes along telling me I should get professional help, I have. I’m in therapy and on antidepressants. Antidepressants help but they’re like health regen, if I get chunked I still have to deal with being low on health for a while. And therapy… It helped and is helping but the last five months have been so so terrible it’s undone all the progress I made and I’m struggling to not give up. I see the thinking patterns that are wrong and where how I feel differs from the reality of my situation but it takes so much effort to break out of those patterns and I’m struggling to care enough to try. All the help in the world can’t change your thoughts and perceptions for you.

I do try to keep myself safe. I deliberately have avoided setting anything up that I could use to send notes on a delay and have avoided setting up/working on/looking into/sourcing parts for the method I would use, so when it gets that bad it forces me to take a lot of time and effort and buys me time for things to improve a bit. I’m just worried that someday it’ll be so bad I won’t care about a painless method or leaving without saying goodbye to the people who care about me. I think it’s probably inevitable, but that’s a self fulfilling prophecy and one of those feelings that I know isn’t accurate, though that doesn’t make it any easier to handle.

I just keep editing this comment trying to make it more positive and it keeps backfiring, sorry.

On the bright side, things can’t get too much worse. I quit my job so it’s no longer triggering depressive crashes and there’s not too many more unexpected expenses left that could happen. I already have had to replace my phone and car since I quit and both the cost of insurance and the cost of therapy are doubling. My grandmother’s died too since I’ve quit. So, there’s not really anything left to make things much worse! Well, getting horribly sick or injured before new insurance kicks in but not going anywhere or doing anything makes injury and illness extremely unlikely. So, things should be pretty stable for the immediate future. I might even see friends in person again for the first time in months!

Just because I want to die doesn’t mean I should drag friends and family down with me

Stressing them the hell out about my well-being just makes life worse for them and piles guilt on me

If/when I do kill myself I want none of them to know it was acutely that bad because then no one can blame themselves for not doing anything to stop it

Letting anyone that close to me would purely be doing them a massive disservice

What if a copy of you woke up in the morning? So you could see your dead body from yesterday, but consciousness would seem as continuous to you as normal–you went to sleep yesterday and effectively woke up today, just in a different body? Would it bother you knowing you weren’t technically the same you as yesterday, even if it seemed like it to you?

Sorry, should have been more specific. If you died in your sleep every night and came back to life in the morning, and you couldn’t tell it was happening, would it matter?

It’s not a question with a right answer, I just want to hear your thoughts about it

Obviously not, but what is the functional difference? If you can’t tell it’s happening, does it actually matter?

Estrogen, my yin

While water in pipes is often a metaphor for electricity, it’s not particularly useful here. You can’t ground out part of a charge. Energy storage is the solution though. Batteries are good, pumping water up back up into dams to be regained from a hydro plant when needed is ideal, as I understand it.

I mean, for most of petplay people I know it’s much more of an everyday thing than a sex thing. Which makes sense, since that’s generally more of a furry thing. It’s less about being an animal and more about being someone’s pet, very gentle sub and dom stuff. There’s a good tumblr post

petplay? oh you mean that kink for burnt-out neurodivergent people with abandonment issues who need simple easy directions and assurance that the person giving them will still be there at the end of the night. yeah i got you i know what you’re talking about

And like, mood.

Remember, if something can’t be 100% improved, all improvement is worthless!

Would I trust the accuracy of the output? No, but it might be a decent warning to get tested to make sure. Would I trust a company with pictures of my genitals attached to my identity? Certainly not an AI company.

4chan is more than /b/ and /pol/, you know. The porn boards are pretty good at least

Notably, java jar files as well.

tar -xzvf filename

With a bad pretend accent:

Xtract

Zee

Vucking

File