• 5 Posts
  • 35 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Unfortunately I feel this conversation has become deadlocked for a number of reasons.

    You have clearly dismissed a fellow person with a valid observation and left no room for open discussion. When given the opportunity to express why you do not agree, you continue to be dismissive.

    You have ignored the topics that has been brought up and are being discussed. In this case emotional intelligence, particularly among men.

    You have not made an attempt to clearly connect your various points into a cohesive argument.

    You have not expressed what you have studied in your own words. To express ideas in your own words would show the rest of us how you perceive and understand a topic. This would be a great base for having a meaningful conversation.

    Lastly, you have done nothing but blindly praise an individual on a podcast. If the words in your initial post are true, we should never worship anyone.

    Taking a step back away from everyone and everything to think of why we react to other peoples words may help us to understand ourselves better. And that’s a good thing.

    At this point I am done. As a fellow individual with ADHD (and Autism), I wish you the best on your mental health journey and I hope you approach it with an open heart and open mind. Thank you for giving me a new perspective for me to think about and hopefully understand in the future.


  • In order to engage you in meaningful discussion, I need to understand your thoughts and perspectives more from your own words.

    Why do you not trust the personal view of another lemmy user? We are on a social platform made for discussing a variety of topics and we will always encounter different views. Hopefully this leads to exploring and expanding our own views on the topics we bring up.

    I would also like to stay on the topic of men and emotional intelligence which was brought up by LoreleiSankTheShip. I currently do not see how neurodivergence and generational workforces fit into this discussion unless you can clearly state the connections for me.

    I do agree with you that the importance of mental health and it’s approaches are not very well explained. However, empathy carries a lot of weight in the discussion of mental health and should not be undermined or under valued.

    Lastly, it’s easy to link a video of an expert, but experts are human and can fall for personal biases too. If you can explain to me your interpretation of what this expert is saying, we can begin to have a thorough discussion. Otherwise, I fear we may be deadlocked and nothing more will come of this.

    I did watch your recommended clip and am still struggling to understand your view point.


  • People in general can learn something from stoicism. From a philosophical standpoint it can be a good place to provide tools for improving yourself from within. However, I also find it hard to accept that men are inherently emotionally weaker than women for many of the reasons mentioned by LoreleiSankTheShip.

    Modern societies extert incredible pressure on people to conform to unreasonable expectations which greatly repress individuality. These pressures start early and are persistent. Emotionally intelligent men exist and have always existed. I could easily believe many of these men couldn’t even begin to define or explain stoicism. Their emotional intelligence could have been learned from family, friends, partners or community.

    A broad and over generalized expectation of modern men are that they be strong and courageous. That they act as independent individuals to care for their family or community. Traits which could be mistaken for a surface level of stoicism.

    What we are seeing today in is very much a lack of emotional intelligence. There is a very noticeable deficiency in emotional intelligence in men when compared to women. Unable to reflect inwards about their motivations and outward actions. Unable to empathetically understand how their actions affect those around them. Unable to to identity, verbalize or express the emotions which are happening within them. As a result, men don’t have the proper understanding of themselves to begin the process of improving themselves. Trans men offer a unique insight into this as they have had the opportunity to experience two worlds of gender expectations.

    But humans are social animals. Many mammals exhibit social needs. We can look to our closest friends such as cats and dogs and see how true that is. We’ve reached a point where our social communities are fragmented and broken. The ideal of a strong man is heavily expected to replace that missing sense of community.

    It’s become and issue so deep and entangled that it’s hard to know where to even begin. I wish there was a simple -ism to unravel this mess but a person is complex. Eight billion people with eight billion unique perspectives is a level of complexity we just don’t know how to even comprehend or manage.

    We can start by teaching emotional understanding from within, by being good examples, by creating and maintaining communities or by calling out bad behavior. Unfortunately, these actions can be attacked. It’s an uphill battle and the hill is looking very steep.


  • The indigenous people of Australia used fire is a part of their land management. It helped clear the land and managed land between crops, regrowth and wild animal populations. Also, some seed pods require fire in order to open thier pods. Otherwise the seeds won’t be released. I had the opportunity to live in Australia for two years and got to learn about some of this.

    This video nicely illustrates what has been learned about pre-colonial land management by the indigenous people.

    To me, it appears they had a deep understanding of the land. Something that had been developed through careful observation and passed down through traditional knowledge. Knowledge that had been disrupted and destroyed. Leaving behind so many broken people.

    It deeply saddens me to know that such intimate knowledge of the land had been destroyed. It makes me wonder just how much local knowledge has really been destroyed through colonialism or other expansive and destructive forces.

    Even with all that said, we today can still learn from these people. We can still learn from the land around us. We can draw inspiration from all this in order to build a sustainable future. We can start building our own knowledge again to pass down to our future. It doesn’t have to involve raking our leaves and shipping it somewhere else that’s out or sight and out of mind.

    My hate for mowing and raking runs pretty deep.



  • I’ve never seen anyone rake s forest floor and the forest seems to be just fine. Nature has been doing it’s own thing for a couple years and seemed to have figured out what works.

    Us humans could learn so much about the world if we spent more time observing it in action. Instead we spent our time bending it to our will. Disrupting beautiful complexity while blissfully unaware of future consequences. Replacing nature with unadaptable machines that are high in maintenance. Machines which are prone to wearing out and breaking down. Replacing nature with our own complexity that doesn’t break down as nicely as a leaf or branch.

    Nature in action is beautiful in it’s own right. No one should be judged for spending their precious time on this world observing nature. It’s a wonderfully complex and adaptive machine with many moving parts and doesn’t require any synthetic lube to run.


  • I had been involved with the labour board over a wrongful termination dispute. I made complaints about about an abusive workplace and was shitcanned as a result.

    During the final settlement where the lawyers were fighting over what my settlement payment would be, my lawyer and I had a bit of a discussion revolving around mental health.

    She suggested I should consider a move into mental health services as I was essentially writing off continuing my trade apprenticeship by this point. She noted that I am a good listener and have a very clear understanding of mental health. She even offered to get me in contact with those in the mental health field.

    It’s been heavily on my mind to go down that path but a part of me is intimidated. I’ve been able to help a few close friends who all experienced some heavy mental issues over the past couple years but these are people who I’ve become close to and am able to help them through a deep understanding of them.

    I tend to get attached to people easily and I’m not sure how I’ll be able to separate work thoughts from my own thoughts meant for my own time. What heavy burdens will make it home with me?

    Would I be good at working in such a field? According to my lawyer and those closest to me, I’d be great. But what am I going to do about my own mental health if I follow that path path? I can barely handle children and I’m the biggest kid in my own life. It’s already a monumental effort to keep myself fed and not spontaneously running into traffic.



  • Fortunately I updated my BIOS from windows before switching to Linux and as of recently, I still have the latest version.

    I added amdgpu.runpm=0 and that did increase stability considerably. My system froze up way less often which was great.

    I also found that adding processor.max_cstate=1 has made my system even more stable and I haven’t had a freeze up in days now. This page gives a nice run down of what it does.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a freeze up in the future but overall my system has been a lot more stable making everything far more enjoyable.



  • I have an AMD + AMD setup but apparently the Dell G5 series has issues with linux so it’s been an uphill challenge.

    I did see that LMDE 6 makes it easy to boot different kernels at startup which is handy. I tried looking at Liquorix Kernel but I don’t think it’s ready for LMDE 6 just yet. I can’t recall exactly why but I got a big nope when trying to download it. I think I tried looking at the Zen Kernel as well but couldn’t figure out if it’s just for Arch or if it’s compatible with Debian.

    Too much to learn and now enough hours or attention span. Slow progress but I guess it’s a thing to do besides watching my plants grow.



  • I’ve spoken to another user who has the same issue as me and they made a couple suggestions including disabling certain options in BIOS or trying a distribution with a newer kernel.

    At first I thought it was issues with iGPU and dGPU switching but I’m beginning to suspect that’s not the case.

    Reproducing when it freezes is a challenge because it’s very inconsistent and does not leave and crash reports.

    The only improvement I’ve seen yet is switching from Linux Mint 21.2 to LMDE 6 but the kernel is still older compared to the versions that I was suggested for my hardware.

    I would like to try a newer kernel just for the sake of trying.







  • I tried the beta and liked it. The only issue I ran into was that the MozillaVPN app wasn’t working on debian.

    I also had not seen much progress on the Debian version of the app from what I found. I could be wrong as that was my first dip into Debian.

    Mullvad is available and I might switch to that at a later time when the motivation strikes me.

    I prefer the idea of community driven projects though.


  • My system still freezes outside of Steam and gaming. My best guess based on searching around for issues related to my system is that Linux doesn’t handle switching from integrated to discrete graphics that well with amd+amd systems. Other users who have Dell G5 SE systems have had the same issue for at least 3 years now.

    It’s tolerable because it doesn’t freeze while gaming and that’s the most intensive thing I do on my system. If I was writing or editing and it froze and I lost work constantly, I’d be more upset and annoyed.

    Occasionally it will freeze just from opening discord or steam but the load up time is significantly shorter than a windows hard reset. It’s tolerable for me, for now.

    I should also add, I can’t start steam normally. It still freezes constantly unless I start directly opening to steam Settings from the start menu.