things are in fact going extremely badly but we’ll see if they pick up starting tomorrow night for reasons that will preclude me being here for about a week (seeing my SO)
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Seeing what folks have said, I kind of feel bad griping about my own issues, but as of now I have nobody else to really talk to (or at least that’s the way it feels), so here goes:
- Work has been up and down. It has been super stressful and intense at times - especially on Mondays, and then calms down as the week goes on. It doesn’t help that we have half our team members and next week our team lead is going on holiday. And next week is going to be the start of support, where I’ll need to be available 24/7 (it’s a thing, and apparently it pays super well and also can help for a promotion)
- I bought a house in March and things are still ongoing from the sellers side despite being virtually done on my side. This wouldn’t be so stressful had it not been for the fact that I have a mortgage offer that will expire at the end of October, and given how the seller wants 4 weeks to paint their new house before I get the keys(!!!) that means I’ll need to factor the 4 weeks into the expiry and eventually consider putting my foot down and pulling out (which I don’t want to do, but interest rates have drastically changed in the UK, so I’m unlikely to have an extension or the same offer again)
- A few weeks ago I got shingles, and I had medicine for that (stress from house and work). Went over to my sisters and she started talking to me about the foot fungus she saw on my feet as well as fungal infection behind my ear. The behind-the-ear requires a shampoo, so that’s simple. The toenail fungal infection requires toenail clippings as well as blood test to check my liver. Yesterday the results came back slightly borderline for my kidneys, so I’m going to have to repeat the results (also I have to avoid alcohol and eat more fruit). At this point I can’t help but feel like my body is a Rube Goldberg machine and while it’s nice that my sister is spotting these issues, it just makes me feel slightly depressed about my body.
- The weather in the UK as well as the health issues has left me a bit house bound, and more importantly, I feel incredibly lonely.
But on the plus side:
- I have a very, very well paid job that seems to actually compensate me for the effort I put in - much, much more than my last job
- I have a genuinely very caring family that wants the best for me
- I’m lucky to live in a time when I can just write this post and several strangers will see it, even if they don’t respond. In some ways, the loneliness is much more in my head
- I already ate 3 bits of fruit yesterday and I had one before my dinner (this is actually quite a big deal for me) :D
- I’m self aware enough to spot when I’m catastrophising and (hopefully) I can make an active effort to nip it in the bud. Sometimes its easy, and other times it’s mentally exhausting.
- I’m sure there are others out there who are doing much worse with taking care of their bodies than me.
- I am not depressed yet. I may have bouts of anxiety through the day, but I think this is manageable.
Your difficulties are real, valid, and not relative to any other person’s. It’s okay to have them and discuss them.
Keep watching your own brain when you can; you cannot be successful every time but you improve your brain hygiene a little bit each time you do. Sometimes you’ll have to let it happen for bit of time while you regain enough energy to stop catastrophising and that’s okay too. The exhaustion you get from stopping it just means you’re doing good work.
So I have phenylketonuria, and a big part of this is being in tune with my brain and my mental/emotional/physical well-being as to try and gauge when my phenylalanine levels are high.
Since I’ve had my phenylalanine levels so low, I was able to correctly find out my levels were high.
As to catastrophising, unfortunately that is a symptom of high phe levels. I’ve been working on lowering my phe levels, and today was the first day I didn’t feel any anxiety or catastrophe despite starting something 24h support at work today for a week.
I totally hear you on the fruit thing. I wish I was better at stopping the catastrophising.
I feel a lot better today. I think part of it is writing things out and actually visualising my situation. I think another part was your reply, which helped me feel seen, so thank you.
Not good. I’ve had three who were very close to me die of old age, so I’m slated to go to two funerals in the next couple of weeks. I’m hoping that things turn around, but that feels like asking for too much.
I got a kitten. Want to see pictures?
Edit: Here’s us having cuddles on her first day home.
She can be loud.
She’s decided this is her bed. I need to chase her off and get a clean one!
like you even have to ask
She’s so precious! What’s her name?
Lemon Cardboard seemed to fit for some reason? Which means she’s Lemmy for short… Kind of a strange coincidence.
Where kitteh
You’re going to leave us all hanging like that? Is it a graybe? One braincelled marmalade? Tuxedo!?
Since you mentioned tuxedo, here’s
Doing OK. Found out last week that I don’t have cancer, so that’s always a plus.
That’s wonderful news! I hope that you’re feeling okay otherwise and that it wasn’t a scare based on symptoms that you don’t have answers for yet.
Nope, just a weird bump in my chest that turned out to be scar tissue :)
I had to deal with insurance BS for my bipolar medication and was off of them for three days. Wasn’t so great but I’m medicated again, thankfully. Waiting for when me and my gf can move in together; certain financial issues are holding us back but its nice getting to spend time with her on the weekends.
Speaking of insurance bs I still haven’t dealt with the 700 I purportedly owe to an ambulance service for something back in January, ughhhhhh
You reminded me that I forgot to take my meds when I woke up. I’m going to take them now.
Thank you for sharing!
so, so tired… no matter how much I sleep. I think I’m sick?
I got covid the day I was supposed to start a new job so yeah not good
Not good. My dog has congestive heart failure. I’m trying to cope with it but it’s hard. Got him after I got out of the military, was really fucked in the head for a while and was having a really hard time and he pretty much saved my life. Considering selling my car to help pay for a 40,000 dollar heart surgery that University of Florida might be able to do but… I know that’s just fucking crazy. Too much money and they probably have so many people lined up that it’s not possible anyway. My newest hobbies are crying and listening to his heart murmur every night as I go to sleep
I feel like if I don’t do everything in my power to help him then it’s my fault but I know that isn’t true and I’ve given him a good life.
My dad is dying too, he doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s weird because I kind of feel indifferent about it. I don’t know. I feel lost right now. I’m trying to be objective. Dogs die, people die. I’ve lost plenty of friends and family and obviously the world keeps on ticking. Right now it’s pretty rough, beehaw. I’ll keep on keepin’ on, I guess.
I’m sorry, that’s really hard. I lost my cat at a hard time last year when I was under a lot of stress and I cried quite a bit. Only thing I’ve cried about in years. He knows that you love him and that you’re there for him.
I’m so sorry. Losing a pet is a special kind of pain, and thinking about losing a parent on top of that must be way too much to process at once. Sending love.
Not so great. My mom died a week ago, I got fired 6 weeks into paid family leave and I’ve started to realize that drinking is becoming a habit :(
Im so sorry to hear about your mother passing last week. We love you so much here, and there are people that care about you. jobs come and go, and they always are going to look out for their best interests. I think it takes a lot of courage to recognize a growing bad habit, I hope you can find a healthier outlet to process your stress and griefs.
Thank you. Yeah, I’ve been applying to places but a lot of job postings these days are scams. Alcoholism killed my brother just under 2 years ago so I generally try not to drink. Ironic eh? :/
I’ve found that stress and grief cause me to be somewhat self destructive so that isn’t surprising to me. Take care of yourself. Although you’ll carry your mom’s death forever, the pain will get better and the joyful memories that you have will get their color back. Hang in there. We’re all rooting for you!
Holy shit, I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m happy to lend an ear if you need it, just send me a pm or hit me on Matrix.
Sounds like most people commenting in this thread are going through some challenges right now. I’m hoping things turn around for everyone soon.
I’ve been having a great week.
- I got myself a working install of Linux on my laptop. I still have things I need to fix, but I’ve made it further than I actually expected in just 2 evenings after work.
- My kid is making great progress with learning how to swim.
- My job remains stressful but I had a few little victories that will make my September much easier than expected (or at least clear the plate a bit so that even if some things happen, they won’t pile onto an existing shit sandwich).
- I just bought some really awesome tomatoes at the farmer’s market, and can’t wait to incorporate into sandwiches starting tomorrow (tonight I gotta go buy some fresh sourdough to really complete the entire effect of a delicious sandwich). I love tomato season!
- I made it back to the gym for the first time in a month. Lots of travel in July (mostly work, but also a family vacation in the middle) put me in hotels without room in my schedule to do any real workouts, although I guess I walked way more than I normally do while traveling (one day I hit 15,000 steps almost entirely in airports). I feel better when I’m working out regularly, so being home is helpful for resetting that part of my routine.
I’m feeling pretty great! Sending good vibes to everyone else in this thread, whether they’re having good weeks or bad weeks.
Good to hear good news. The deer pretty much cropped my tomato plants right back to the small tomato cages, knocking most of the protected tomatoes off in the process.
On the bright side, my daughter is home from college for a month and the weather here in the Appalachian mountains has cooled a bit so there are likely some nice evening walks in my future.
I saw your post talking about how you got it going in another community. Good for you! Linux still does not play well with laptops. It’s especially hard on the laptop you’re trying to get it working on. The older the hardware, the better the Linux is still the rule of thumb. As far as the rest, also happy for you. Your enthusiasm is contagious.
I had amazing luck getting Linux running nicely, way-back-when, with an Acer Aspire One. I’ve stayed with that product line for all my laptops and so far it’s paid off. But then there’s also options like System76 for nice machines with Linux pre-installed.
Debian has always worked pretty easily for me on ThinkPads. I guess it depends what you’re trying to run it on.
It really depends on what hardware you have. A new laptop just released last month will have a ton of issues with any linux distro. The guy we’re replying to installed linux on a mac laptop. Not ever easy! The ThinkPads often work well with any distro, as far as I know. Same goes for HP laptops. BUT, most gaming laptops are a no-go, unless you’re ready to spend hours tweaking after installation.
It’s going ok!
My sons daycare had to close for the week because of a COVID outbreak so I’ve been daddy-day care all week. It’s nice to spend quality time with him, but man 2-year-olds are a lot.
I’ve been in a very dark place, mentally. I tried posting about it on a mental health community, and I attracted downvotes and trolls, so not good (some helpful people too, but not worth it imo)
I need to find a therapist, but I haven’t had much luck in the past (had one who went on an unprovoked rant about how there’s a MLK Day but no White People Day, and another who was obsessed with being so vocally anti-cannabis that I felt I couldn’t be honest)
I’m thinking about staying with my parents for a while, but I can’t afford to take time off work to go
I don’t have any words of consolement, but I’d just like to say that you were one of the first lemmy users I found on beehaw and I’ve enjoyed your comments and posts.
<3
Thank you, that really does mean something to me
New job started this week after 10 years, 18% increase, love my new coworkers…
But depression sucks. LOL
Sorry to hear about your depression. Sounds like a hell of a bump from your old job - good on you for getting the job!!
Thanks! Hopefully it’ll help relieve stress in other places.
It’s an interesting journey being neurospicy.
I spent half a decade with depression. It sucks.
I recommend reading, or even better listening to, the storm light archive. Sanderson’s writing style isn’t for everyone but the series is almost like therapy in a book; especially Kaladin’s story, he’s got the big sad too.
Thanks. I’ll look for it now.
Good. Got my first piercings and started a project to convert a bakfiets to an ebike with a Bafang mid-drive motor.
I was at a small roleplaying convention last week. It was great to meet the others again after about a year and game with them. Unfortunately someone was rather generous with their flu viruses and I got my personal helping. So I’m on sick leave for the second say but luckily, according to the test it’s just a flu and not the big bad C. On Monday I clobbered together a small template for my sister to build fake computer screens as props for TV shows… All in all a mixed bag of some good stuff and some annoying things…
