NEW YORK—Noting that the 5-year-old purebred ultimately meant more to them than any of their ungrateful, deadbeat children, the nation’s baby boomers reportedly decided Wednesday to leave their entire $78.55 trillion fortune to a single spoiled Pomeranian. “Upon our death, we formally request that our whole estate be left to dear Mitzi, the only one […]
The least believable part about this is boomers leaving behind money at all. If they’re anything like the boomers I’m biologically related to, they brag about intending to “live it up” and “leave nothing behind but a beautiful corpse.”